Many new clients report finding it difficult to push past the negativity of rejection as they look for employment. Job hunting was hard enough in the “before times.” Now, in the face of a global pandemic, a recession, massive political upheaval, a historic moment in the struggle for civil rights, and a childcare/educational crisis? Well, these days it takes a lot more mental energy to push through failures and maintain the resiliency necessary to succeed.
That doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
Resiliency is like a muscle. The more you work at overcoming previous rejection and failure, the better you get at pushing through obstacles in the future. I’m finding that sales folks are faring the best in this respect and it’s really no surprise. Anyone who’s ever worked in sales knows rejection well. You make a pitch and get shot down, so you refine your approach and try again. It’s an endless cycle. Some attempts will end in failure, but some will result in great success! You learn over time to push through the failures so that you can reap the rewards of a future win.
Folks in many other professions haven’t had the need to develop this skill. So, in an effort to help anyone struggling to stay motivated, I thought I’d offer a few concrete, actionable suggestions to help you regain and preserve a sense of resiliency.
POSITIVE SELF TALK
First, be mindful of the way you think and talk about yourself. Be mindful of the way you allow others to speak to you and about you. Be mindful of the messaging you ingest. Words have power, and if you want to feel more powerful and motivated, you need to make sure your words and the messaging of others are consistent with that goal.
Find a mantra. It sounds corny, I know, but pick something short that you can repeat to yourself when things go wrong. Repeat your mantra any time you find yourself thinking negatively about your goals. “Keep going.” “You’re doing a good job.” “You can do hard things.” “You’ve got this.”
Enlist the help of a close friend or family member. Ideally, this is someone you live with or speak with frequently. Ask them to help you out by vocalizing their support for you and your goals. Let them know you need to hear encouraging words. Maybe share your mantra with them so that they can remind you every now and then, “You’re doing a good job.”
If you’ve been watching some heavy dramas on TV, or immersing yourself in the 24/7 news cycle, or wallowing in some of your favorite melancholy tunes… knock it off! This is not the time. While I concede that keeping abreast of current events is necessary for any responsible member of society, you don’t need to be drowning yourself in bad news all day long. Make an effort to limit your exposure to bad news. Embrace media that makes you laugh, or makes you feel strong and capable. Make a playlist of loud, angry tunes with a lot of swagger. Take a drive or a run and turn up the music.
MIND-BODY CONNECTION
It’s no secret that our physical health impacts our mental well-being. If you’ve been feeling helpless and overcome by rejection, it might help to take better care of your physical health.
Are you tired? Hungry? When was the last time you drank water. (No, not a Diet Coke. Water.) Feed yourself healthy food. Stay hydrated. Try your best to get enough sleep.
Get moving! Exercise reduces the body’s stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol, and stimulates endorphins, which are natural chemical mood enhancers. So, the next time you encounter rejection or an obstacle, take a walk around the block, or a bike ride, or check out some of the great workout videos on YouTube! MadFit has some fantastic, apartment-friendly workouts. They’re low impact, equipment free, and they will kick your butt.
Try power posing! This TED Talk by Amy Cuddy will explain some of the scientific research that supports the value of power posing and will teach you how to use your body to increase confidence and improve performance.
REORGANIZE
If you’re loosing sight of what your goals are, or how to go about reaching them, then it’s time to reorganize. If you don’t know where you want to be, don’t be surprised when you never get there!
Get a notebook. Write down your goals. Be specific. Think about all of the concrete actions you can take to help you achieve these goals.
Make a list of all of the things you need to get done. Include big things like doing your taxes or rewriting your resume, and small things like doing the laundry or calling your mom.
Start with something small and, when it’s finished, physically cross it off on your list. No, really. Like, get a pen and really cross that sucker off. Pat yourself on the back and move on to to something a little bit more challenging. Then, just “Keep going!”
To be clear, I’m not suggesting that the activities above will or should immediately improve your outlook on life. If you’re feeling unmotivated and overwhelmed, you’re entitled to feel that way. The world is a chaotic place right now and there is no shortage of bad news. Feeling sub-optimal is normal. Rather, I’m suggesting that giving the ideas above a fair shot might help shock you out of your funk long enough to allow you to get back on track. If none of these suggestions work for you, and if you continue to feel down over a long period of time, reach out to someone who can help. (The Samaritans is a non-profit organization offering emotional support to anyone who calls feeling lonely or depressed. You can reach them at 877-870-4673.)
Keep going, friends. You’ve got this.